How to Be a Lovable Host Family

Steps

    1
    Ask questions. Find out about your new son’s/daughter’s natural family, school and environment. What’s easy and what’s difficult. Is their behavior here similar to their behavior at home?
    2
    Don’t judge. There’s more than one right way. Exchange students are teenagers. They are not through growing, learning, or changing.
    3
    Communicate directly. Exchange students need praise and support as well as knowing where they stand and if there’s a problem. Don’t make them guess if you’re happy or you not.
    4
    Stop problems quickly. Explain what is bothering you when it’s small so it doesn’t get worse.
    5
    Be patient. Understand that you have rules and expectations that don’t match what your exchange student has grown up with. Use patience and discuss what you expect with your student.
    6
    Support the rules. Organization rules and local, state and federal laws are in place to protect you and your student. If your son/daughter gets into trouble for breaking rules, it’s not okay that you were the one who helped them.
    7
    Ask for help. Never hesitate to ask for help.
    8
    Just say it. Don’t talk behind your student’s back or through your own children. If you need to say something, say it.
    9
    Don’t compare. Your son/daughter is new to your home. Even if you’ve heard the question one hundred times in past years or from your own children, remember each student has only one experience.
    10
    Be specific. Don’t say, “Be home at a reasonable time.” What is reasonable to you may be totally unreasonable to them.
    11
    Be clear. Rather than using a figure of speech, “It might be nice if you made your bed”, say what you mean.
    12
    Love, support and care. Sometimes when they seem the least lovable is exactly when they need comforting the most.
    13
    Sympathize. Remember, being an exchange student isn’t easy. How would you do in the same situation?
    14
    Teach and learn. Differences in culture means variations in what is and isn’t appropriate behavior. Learn about your student’s culture and teach him/her about yours.
    15
    Be fair. Don’t give your student special privileges you wouldn’t give our own kids.
    16
    Encourage involvement. Your student should spend time with Americans, speaking English. Learning about American culture is best done by speaking the language and spending time with Americans.
    17
    Assist. Some students have difficulty making friends. Discuss what American teenagers normally do to reach out to peers.
    18
    Report strange behavior. Unusual or disturbing behavior should be communicated to your Area Representative immediately. Area Representatives are trained to know what is okay and what isn’t (or they know where to find this information).
    19
    Be kind.

 Tips

    Get in touch with other families who are hosting or hosted in the past - they are a great resource and really understand what you are going through.

 Warnings

    Your exchange organization is mandated and responsible for providing orientations and support to students and host families. Only host or work with organizations that are in good standing in the community and are listed with the CSIET (www.csiet.org).